Today in class, Alyson mentioned that Holden seems to put on a facade that he doesn't really care about anything or anyone. I agree with her that he acts like a "tough guy" to avoid showing pain because I think that Holden actually does care a lot about the people in his life. For example, when he goes to Spencer's house, there is definitely something compelling him to go talk to his teacher and I think that it is his desire for his teacher's approval. When Spencer starts reading his test out loud and talking about how disappointing his behavior has been, Holden starts making comments about other things to the reader. He is uncomfortable talking about his detriments, so he tries to direct the conversation and thoughts away from his shortcomings. Holden tries to play off the fact that it bothered him when he was "ostracized" after losing the fencing equipment. However, later when he is talking to Spencer, the conversation veers in that direction and Holden tries to distract the reader and himself by complaining about how uncomfortable Spencer's bed is,
"'Only, I just got back from New York with the fencing team,' I said.
Boy, his bed was like a rock."
He also goes back to the discomfort of the bed after he admits to Spencer that he is failing four out of five of his classes that semester. Another example of Holden diverting out attention from his shortcomings is when Spencer brings up his parents. Holden chooses to focus on Spencer's usage of the word "grand" rather than on his parents because he doesn't seem to have a particularly good relationship with them. I think that Holden just wants the approval and respect of the important people in his life. He isn't getting it from his parents because he is failing out of school and he doesn't want to dwell on that because Spencer might start to agree with them. Holden also says that he "wished to hell he'd stop calling [him] 'boy' all
the time" because it is a way to establish his inferiority to the teacher.
It makes me kind of sad thinking about Holden's situation because he is obviously in a lot of pain from his self-confidence issues and the adults in his life aren't helping him work through them. As I read more and more of this novel, I'm starting to realize that Holden isn't this "tough guy" type but that he had trouble accepting that. He mentioned that he is a great liar, which I initially took to mean he is great at lying to other people, but now I'm thinking that he is also great at lying to himself. I feel sorry for Holden, I guess, because I just want him to be happy and I don't think he is right now, so I hope he eventually gets to a good place.
I think your comment about Holden being good at lying to himself is completely on point. Sometimes it seems as though Holden is delusional about his general life situation--he puts up this veneer of carelessness and casualness when he in fact is feeling the opposite. I'm not sure if I agree that Holden is trying to get approval from the adult figures in his life--I mean, he is--but it confuses me as to how he tries to get it. He makes no effort in school for example, so why would he seek approval for his behavior when he clearly knows he wont get it? Is the lack of effort a way to seek attention that he lacks? We do know that his mother has been fragile since Allie died, so that could definitely be part of it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Holden seems to do a lot of lying to himself, and I think it is great to point out hiw much he wants to satisfy others. I think that we could compare Holden being upset about dissatisfying his mother but nevertheless failing school with Stephen Dedalus' decision to stop going to church. In the end, their desire to be free triumphs over other values.
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